~Kr1mz0n

Krimzonite

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About Me Member Shadow Deviant Kr1mz0nUnited States

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Website: http://krow-art.livejournal.com/

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Finality. Closure. It's something I tend to need in order to get over things. In fact, I think that's a fairly human problem, otherwise it just festers and becomes this bitter little hole of anger and bitterness to add onto a bunch of other bundles of bitterness and anger.

That's what that journal was (and it's still there, just not on the main page anymore). That's what this is. I'm only logging in now though because in that entry, I said I would. After this, though, no more.

I'd actually thought I'd be talking to an empty audience since I have no watchers, but it looks like this page is still averaging 5-6 views a day o.O So I'll get started.

After I posted that journal, almost immediately, I got over it. It was the perfect outlet for something that had been bothering me so intently that it affected everything else in my daily life. I just wanted to say that. Thanks to the people who showed concern, lol.

It also helped a great deal to know that at least one of the people I'd intended it for, not only read it, but managed to prove every opinion I had about her wholly right. She even went one step beyond and tried on at least four seperate occasions to literally turn my friends or new aquaintences against me. One of said friends showed me the exchange, and in it she went on about how I love to start shit, am addicted to drama, and pretty much am unable to care about people because I use them. She even went so far to say that Jake left me because he 'realized I was only using him to fight my battles'. I don't know if that's true or not, but from everything else she said, I'm pretty sure it was another exaggeration.

And of course, all this is based off of her knowing me for less than 5 weeks. Because BITCHES DON'T KNOW HER HISTORY WITH KRIMZON, YA HEAR?? (Lol, sorry, that's become a meme with some peeps I know now).

I could go through and prove nearly everything she said a falsehood, but then that would be yet another way too long ass entry, and really, there's no reason for it. Sure, it made me angry, especially if there are occasions that I don't even know about. But it also made me a little bit happy, because now I know for certain I wasn't just imagining things. I know what kind of person she is, and if people chose to listen to her instead of me, or better, if people don't even care what I have to say and hate me based on the word of someone else, then I could care less about them.

Although I have decided that if I DO find out about another instance of this person doing exactly what i spoke about here, then 'internet rep' be damned, I'll post everything publically, with all the proof I have to call her out on her lies.

Actually, these days, I really don't care about my 'internet rep'. Mostly because I really don't care about internet relationships at all. Or any, for that matter. I got my heart broken for the last time last year. Literally. Something far worse happened since then, and all I really felt was a sort of resignation.

I wondered at that for a bit, then came to understand that that's just how people work. They'll say they love you, and might even say so for years. But the moment you screw up, even if it's the most retarded thing ever, and even if you apologize, people will drop you like a slimy condom and move on to something better. I'm done with that. I'm only online still because some stuff here is shiny to look at. But I've stopped opening up to people. I just can't be bothered, like my husband likes to say. I haven't spoken to hardly anyone since last year, especially not online. There have been a few people, but only the ones I've known for years and have never had a problem with.

Jake once said that all I needed was Kharn, that I didn't need him (and by that, I took it to heart that he meant I didn't need any friends). Someone else I knew alluded to the same. Since I stopped talking to people, I've found that they were right. So that's where I am right now. I've got my Real Estate license, I've got my Kharn. Until the day I finally kill myself, that'll be all I need.

And no, there is no ulterior motive for this other than what I said. Believe it or not, I'm actually not that clever.

This didn't come out quite as I'd imagined, but at least it's done. It'll stop nagging me now, I hope. If you wanna bitch at me, or find out what happened to me, just ask around, lol. You'll find me. If you wanna bitch at me behind my back, then that just proves the kind of coward you are.

And remember:

BITCHES DON'T KNOW MY HISTORY WITH KRIMZON!!!!

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Comments

~MockingbirdFly

May 26, 2009, 8:12:15 AM

Hey Krim,

It's Atti. Just seeing how you're doing. Hopefully better than when you wrote that journal/ID.
Hope you're enjoying life!
Much love,

~Atticus

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~ThisIsYour